


Autistic Creative Challenge: Yuri!!! on Ice

by AutisticWriter



Series: Neurodiversity!!! on Ice [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: #redinstead, Ableism, Agender Character, Agender Yuri Plisetsky, Asexual Character, Asexual Yuri Plisetsky, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Autism, Autism Acceptance, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Creative Challenge, Autistic Katsuki Yuuri, Autistic Lee Seung Gil, Autistic Minami Kenjirou, Autistic Otabek Altin, Autistic Yuri Plisetsky, Bisexual Victor Nikiforov, Bisexuality, Canon Character of Color, Canon Queer Relationship, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Demisexual Katsuki Yuuri, Demisexuality, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Established Relationship, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Food, Friendship, Gay Lee Seung Gil, Gay Male Character, Holding Hands, Hugs, Kissing, LGBTQ Themes, Minami Kenjirou Has ADHD, Minor Jean-Jacques Leroy/Isabella Yang, Multi, My Hero Academia References, Nonverbal Communication, Pansexual Character, Pansexual Otabek Altin, Pride, Sensory Overload, Shutdowns, Social Issues, Special Interests, Spoon Theory, Stim Toys, Stimming, Swearing, Victor Nikiforov Has ADHD, meltdowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-07 12:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 15,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14671257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticWriter/pseuds/AutisticWriter
Summary: A collection of ficlets written about my Yuri!!! on Ice autistic headcanons, and inspired by uniqueaspergirl’sAutistic Creative Challenge.These ficlets focus on the following characters, all of whom I headcanon as autistic: Yuuri, Yurio, Otabek, Minami and Seung Gil. They are about stimming, self acceptance, special interests and everything that comes with being autistic.





	1. #Redinstead: Yurio (Otayuri)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Otabek and Yurio decide to go Red Instead for April.

Yuri may hate a lot of things, but his autism is not one of them. To be more specific, he likes being autistic.

Yes, there are problems (the sensory overloads are really quite annoying and his poor social skills are a bit part of the reason why everyone calls him a brat), but the positives outweigh the negatives. He is proud of his autism, just as he is proud of being asexual and agender and a fucking amazing skater. Yeah, he’s proud of who he is.

And this is why he hates the people out there who dedicate far too much of their time to ‘autism awareness’ and trying to find a cure. Because it is literally impossible to cure a developmental disability you’ve had your entire life, for fuck’s sake! And autism doesn’t need more awareness (everyone seems to know about it, even if it’s only from movies that have shitty stereotypes or propaganda from the sort of organisations that promote this bullshit), anyway. What autism really needs is acceptance.

It needs acceptance because people try to stop Yurio being who he is (like some of the children at school who used to call him slurs or the teachers who held his hands down to stop him flapping them, and the doctor who wanted to send him for a type of completely horrible ‘therapy’ – at least, until Yurio told him to fuck off). The only people he feels safe around are his grandfather, his coach and his fellow ice skaters. They let him stim, listening to music and bouncing his legs and running his fingers through his wonderfully soft hair, or even flapping his arms like he used to as a kid when he is happy. They don’t force him to make eye contact. They just let him be Yurio, and he is so grateful.

\---

One day in late March, Otabek approaches Yurio at the ice rink. Otabek, his awesome boyfriend, has been staying in Russia with him for the last few weeks, and Yurio loves being with Otabek so much (most of the time, they have to put up with a long distance relationship). It probably helps that Otabek is autistic too, and understands him so better than most people ever could; in fact, Otabek was the one who bought Yurio his fidget cube, a stim toy he plays with when stressed or just bored.

Yurio is sat in the stands at the rink, his feet propped up on the seat in front of him, watching Yuuri and Victor do a pair skate routine whilst Mila and Georgi stand at the side of the rink and bicker with Yakov, playing with his fidget cube. He looks up when Otabek comes over, but something catches his eye.

Otabek has a button badge pinned to his jacket, a red background with the words **Red Instead!** written in gold letters. He sees Yurio notice it, and smiles. Sitting down beside Yurio, Otabek says, “Do you like my badge?”

Yurio keeps staring at the badge, wondering what it means. And then it clicks in his brain, and he grins. Red Instead is part of the autism acceptance movement, a thing in which autistic people wear red instead of blue in the month of April to counteract the obsession with blue (blame the shitty ‘charities’ that are obsessed with blue). Otabek must know as much on the topic as him.

“It’s fucking amazing!” he says, and he reaches for Otabek’s hand and interlocks their fingers; a subtle public display of affection that Yurio loves. “Can I have one?”

“You all can,” Otabek says, squeezing his hand. “I got loads of them made. I want everyone to join in.”

And Yurio just grins and plays with his stim toy, loving his boyfriend so fucking much.


	2. Stimming: Minami (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A study in stimming.

Minami loves to skate. He always has. Ice skating is just so amazing, especially figure skating. It is his favourite thing to do, he spends all of his free time at his training rink, he spends all his money on it and his dream is to get a gold medal at the Grand Prix Final one day. Skating is the biggest thing in his life, and it has been for as long as Minami can remember.

Also, figure skating has always been one of his special interests. Well, to be more specific, Katsuki Yuuri has always been one of his special interests. He has always admired Yuuri for his ability to skate and the fact that Yuuri is also an openly autistic Japanese figure skater. Yuuri has always inspired him to skate, and is part of the reason why Minami has never wanted to quit.

But he also loves to skate because of the sensory things it creates. Like most autistic people, Minami stims, using things to counteract his hyper- or hyposensitive senses and therefore calm himself down or soothe his senses or just convey his emotions. And skating incorporates some of his favourite stims into one of his favourite things, making the whole thing perfect.

Minami likes to move quickly, stimming with the fast movements you get when you ice skate. It helps him focus his hyperactivity, giving him something to channel his energy into and make him feel like he is doing something productive (which, when he skates, he is). And so when he is on the ice, he stims by making fast and smooth movements as he races across the ice.

Minami stims by listening to music, listening to the beats and notes and the range of the singer’s voice and losing himself in the music. And when he skates, he chooses his favourite kinds of music and his coach choreographs his moves to the song and when he is on the ice Minami loses himself in the music all over again.

Minami stims by wearing tight, layered clothes as a pressure stim, the tight and often heavy fabric providing soothing, familiar pressure all over his body and helping him focus. And his costumes for his routines are always tight and provide the pressure he needs, and Minami is comfortable and totally focused when he skates.

Minami stims by flapping his arms around in the air, whether it is his hands or his whole arms, a stim that usually shows his excitement or happiness. And so it isn’t that surprising that a lot of his routines on the ice involve his hands or arms flailing around or slicing through the air or moving into gestures like the air guitar. Because when a routine contains his favourite happy stim, it makes sense that Minami would be happy whilst skating it.

He stims in many different ways. But, like with most things in his life, they all connect to figure skating. He loves figure skating, he loves stimming. Yeah, it’s all connected, and he loves it.


	3. Special Interest: Yuuri (Victuuri)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Victor is Yuuri’s special interest.

If you asked Yuuri what his special interest is, he would say it is ‘figure skating’. But if you pried and asked a few more questions, he would inevitably blush and say “Victor.”

Because Victor is Yuuri’s special interest; ever since he was a child, Yuuri has looked up to Victor and admired him so much (as well as having a pretty big crush on him) that it is easy to consider Victor a very big special interest of his, one that has not faded over time. He just loves Victor so much, in every sense of the word.

As he grew up, Yuuri’s life seemed to revolve around Victor. He collected every poster and photograph of Victor he could get his hands on, covering the walls of his bedroom in pictures of his idol. He and Yuuko copied Victor’s skating techniques, doing his routines and skating the way he did and imagining what it would be like so share the ice with Victor. He got a poodle that looked almost the same as Victor’s dog Maccachin, and named his dog Victor. And Yuuri daydreamed and had real dreams about meeting Victor and maybe even getting to kiss him…

So yeah, he was – and is – still obsessed with Victor. Which means that dating Victor (he still can’t believe that Victor wanted to coach him and… and then fell in love with him) can sometimes feel a bit awkward. He thinks about it a lot, and one night, he decides to talk to Victor about it.

They are lying in bed in Victor’s house in Russia (in a few days, they will be husbands; Yuuri can’t wait for the wedding) when Yuuri rolls over and says, “Victor, do you know what a special interest is?”

Victor nods. “I think so. Isn’t it a thing an autistic person gets really, really focused on? Kind of like my ADHD hyperfixations.”

Yuuri smiles, loving how much his fiancé knows about his autism. “Yes, exactly. Well, try taking a guess what my special interest is.”

He starts to blush. Victor frowns, clearly thinking hard, and looks at Yuuri. When he sees Yuuri’s red cheeks, his mouth opens slightly.

“Yuuri?” he says. “Am I your special interest?”

Yuuri looks away, rubbing his feet together under the blankets. “Y-Yeah. You don’t think that it’s creepy, do you?”

“Creepy?”

“You know, that I’m obsessed with you and always have been, and now I’m engaged to marry you.”

Victor chuckles. “Yuuri, why on Earth would I think that’s creepy?”

“I don’t know,” Yuuri says, getting embarrassed. “I just assumed…”

Victor hushes him, rolling over and reaching for Yuuri’s hand. He clasps it between both of his own. “Well, you assumed wrong. I know how you have always admired me, Yuuri. And to be honest, if anything, I find it kind of cute.”

Yuuri looks at him his eyes widening. Did he just say what he thinks he said? “C-Cute?”

“Yes, cute,” Victor says, squeezing his hands and kissing his engagement ring. “I think it’s cute. Just like you.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri says, smiling as he gives Victor a kiss.


	4. Communication: Seung Gil (Seung Gil/Phichit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seung Gil isn’t the most talkative person. Or the most sociable person. Basically, unless you are Phichit, you aren’t going to get much out of him.

Seung Gil is not the most talkative person. He finds talking an… effort, to be honest, and hates talking to people he doesn’t know very well. So it is quite common for him to not talk when out in public or otherwise surrounded by strangers, meaning you have to be close to him in order to have a conversation with him.

When he does talk to strangers, however, at times when he has no choice but to (such as when he has to have interviews after skating), Seung Gil relies on social scripts. These are things he wrote on his phone before hand, and memorised so he doesn’t have to think of conversation spontaneously. Which is why his press conferences tend to seem a bit staged (because, in a way, they are).

And even when talking to people he knows and trusts (such as his parents, Phichit, his boyfriend, and several of his fellow figure skaters he has become friends with over the years), Seung Gil is still prone to making mistakes. His voice is often monotonous (he really struggles to control the tone of his voice, and it is usually flat by default) and people sometimes think he is being rude with them. Except he isn’t; this probably explains why he never had very many friends when he was growing up.

The thing about speech is: it doesn’t come naturally to him. Seung Gil was nonverbal until the age of six, and even though he can speak now, he has to force the words out and it never feels right. And when he gets tired or starts to go into sensory overload, his ability to speak is always one of the first things to go, leaving him nonverbal once again.

Although speech is his main problem when it comes to communicating, Seung Gil still isn’t very good at communicating with others. Physically forcing out words is no longer a problem when using the verbal communication software on his phone (he has an app on his phone that translates typed words into speech, which is very useful when he is nonverbal) or interacting with others via texts or social media, but his lack of social skills is still a glaring issue.

He just never knows what to say. Seung Gil has an Instagram account as well as several other social media accounts, but he barely uses it. In a way, communicating on social media is even harder than doing so face to face, because you can’t use body language to add subtext to what you are saying. So he is often too scared to post something in case someone gets the wrong idea and thinks he is being nasty, just like at school all those years ago. So it is very rare for him to actually post anything.

“You know you’ve only got three pictures on your Instagram, right?” Phichit says one evening when they sit on Phichit’s bed in his hotel room.

They are both staring at their phones, but are sat close enough that their knees are touching. Phichit is on Instagram (again), whilst Seung Gil scrolls through Tumblr (he doesn’t have an account, but he regularly reads blogs on there, especially ones about ice skating or his favourite TV shows).

“Of course I do,” he says without looking up. “It’s my account.”

“Yeah, I know. I just think it’s kinda funny how you’ve had this account for… four years, but you’ve only got three photos. You’re really not a fan of social media, are you?”

Seung Gil shakes his head, flicking onto his IG app. “No, I’m not.” He looks at his three photos: one of him and his dog, one of him and Phichit, and one selfie Phichit dared him to take. “It isn’t really my… thing.”

“I noticed,” Phichit says, smiling. “But it’s okay. I mean, I post enough for both of us, right?”

Seung Gil laughs. So far today, Phichit has posted a grand total of thirty five photos, several of which are just pictures of his hotel room. “Definitely.”

He is exhausted from all the travelling he has done lately, and Seung Gil finds speech becoming very difficult. He rubs his eyes and switches on his communication app, and he and Phichit continue their conversation this way. And Phichit doesn’t care that Seung Gil is typing on his phone which then reads the words out loud. And this is exactly why he loves Phichit: his boyfriend loves him for who he is, and never tries to change him.


	5. Freebie: Otabek (Otayuri)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Otabek’s mind works differently to most people’s, and he is proud of who he is.

When you are autistic, you view the world differently. Otabek certainly does. So many things about the world that other people talk about make no sense to him.

He doesn’t understand bigotry; it makes no sense that some people hate others for reasons he will never understand.

He doesn’t understand the obsession with making everyone conform; schools always try to stop individuality and it used to infuriate him.

And he doesn’t understand cisheteronormativity: the act of assuming that everyone is cisgender and heterosexual, rather than acknowledging that all types of genders and sexualities exist. Their world is not homophobic or transphobic (these attitudes having died out centuries ago), but people still seem surprised that LGBTQ+ people exist, and it doesn’t make sense. And if your identity is one of the ‘stranger’ ones (such as being pansexual or asexual or nonbinary), people seem to find it harder to understand you.

This last one is especially confusing to Otabek. Why do you have to come out like your sexuality or gender is such a big thing? Why is it such a shock to realise that someone is gay or trans or whatever? It really doesn’t make sense.

He has never understood gender or its roles. Otabek knows he is a cis man, but he explored his gender a lot as a child before reaching this understanding. He played with all sorts of toys and dressed in skirts when he was young, not wanting to be tied down to things that were only allowed for boys. When he started getting crushes on his friends and classmates, Otabek was always open about how he liked boys as well as girls. When he got older, he realised that gender didn’t matter to him at all, leading to him adopting the label pansexual.

When he met Yuri years later, Yuri came out as agender. He looked anxious, wringing his hands together, but Otabek simply smiled.

“You don’t need to worry,” he said, smiling at his new friend as he wondered why Yuri might be anxious; he supposed that being nonbinary is still considered a bit ‘weird’ to most people. “Do you still want to use he/him pronouns?”

And Yuri smiled and exhaled slowly, and told Otabek about how he liked he/him pronouns, and their friendship grew stronger.

When they started dating, Yuri came out as asexual. Otabek responded by coming out as pansexual.

“So you don’t mind?” Yuri said.

“Why would I?” Otabek said. “You aren’t the only one who has an orientation that a lot of people find strange.”

And Yuri smiled and kissed him.

Identity is a complex subject. But within his eighteen years on this planet, Otabek thinks he understands his own identity now.

He is pansexual.

He is autistic.

And he is in a relationship with Yuri, his datemate (Yuri is agender, so he asked Otabek to refer to him as a datemate rather than a boyfriend or girlfriend). His autistic, asexual, agender datemate.

And he doesn’t care if people find his identities or his datemate strange. They are who they are, and he is happy with life like this.


	6. Food: Yurio (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuri has difficulties around eating food.

When Yuri was a kid, people called him a picky eater. Although, to be fair, they still call him that. But at least he now has a reason for being fussy with his food; that reason being his sensory issues caused by his autism.

But he didn’t know this when he was younger (he was only diagnosed when he was thirteen), so it was hard when he couldn’t even explain why he was so fussy. Yuri used to cry when sat at the dining table at home or in the cafeteria at school, staring at the plate of food in front of him and knowing he couldn’t bear to eat it. He didn’t know how to explain it to the adults around him; no one seemed to think he was being serious when he said, “It feels horrible in my mouth.” And so Yuri grew to hate mealtimes, knowing he would either be forced to eat things that made him feel sick, or go hungry.

The thing is, even with his poor vocabulary at the time, Yuri was telling the truth. It is hard to describe, but some foods really do feel horrible in his mouth. In fact, the texture of foods often matters more to him than the taste. If the texture is wrong, it’s incredibly difficult to eat the food. He used to force himself to eat it when he was younger, but these days, he just refuses to eat things with a horrible taste or texture.

With all of this considered, it makes perfect sense that Yuri only likes a handful of foods, usually ones he has tried many times and trusts. His favourite are pirozhkis, which he eats most days and his grandfather makes the best ones in the whole of Russia.

Coach Yavok was initially unimpressed to know Yuri, a professional figure skater, eats such an unbalanced diet. But when he learned just why Yuri can’t eat that many things, he was understanding and tried his best to help him get the most healthy, balanced diet he can. And Yuri was grateful; his coach may be grumpy, but he genuinely cares about his skaters.

When he follows Victor to Japan to insist he comes home and stops trying to coach Katsuki Yuuri, several things happen, both good and bad. And one of the good things is that Yuri discovers a new favourite food: the pork cutlet bowl. This Japanese dish is Yuuri’s favourite, and Yuri soon realises why: it is absolutely delicious. Pork Cutlet Bowl soon becomes a nickname for Yuuri, and Yuri associates the delicious dish with the skater he has always begrudgingly admired from that moment on.

Yuri tells his grandfather about the pork cutlet bowls he ate in Japan, and his grandfather’s facial expression is unreadable. But the next time he sees his grandfather, Yuri discovers what he must have been thinking about at the time. Grandpa hands him a bag and Yuri opens it, finding himself staring at several pirozhkis. But that is not the surprising thing (Grandpa always makes pirozhkis for him); what surprises him is what is inside them.

They are pork cutlet bowl pirozhkis! Yuri grins and tucks in, amazed to be eating two of his favourite things at the same time. It is so delicious. He loves Grandpa so much. And moments like this prove that being a fussy eater (Yuri hates that phrase; it totally underestimates the severity of his problems with textures) doesn’t mean he doesn’t love food, he doesn’t love taste, and he doesn’t love some textures. He just doesn’t like the ones that feel disgusting in his mouth, and he wishes more people would understand that.


	7. Spoons: Minami (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuuri introduces Minami to the Spoon Theory.

Minami has noticed that he seems to get tired easier than most people he knows. He will do the same amount of exercise or school work as other people his age, but Minami just gets so drained. The energy leaves him so quickly, and then it takes him far long than anyone else to recharge, as it were, when he rests or goes to bed. To be honest, it is confusing and makes him feel kind of… weak.

He wonders if it is linked to his autism and ADHD; after all, Minami does spend a lot of his time stimming, and even more of his time hyperfixating on his special interests, not to mention a large amount of time spent fighting off sensory overload in situations that are too bright or loud or busy.

But even if this is the case, Minami still feels quite weak. Because he knows other people with autism and ADHD, and they don’t seem to struggle like this. Is it just him?

\---

One day, Minami arrives at his training rink to find Katsuki Yuuri on the ice. He is skating with his husband, Victor, doing a pairs skate without music, and Minami just stares and lets his hands flap at his sides. Yuuri is his favourite person in the world (to be honest, he has always had a bit of a crush on Yuuri, not that he has ever told him; though, to be fair, Yuuri probably worked it out a long time ago), he has his special interest for years, and he admires Yuuri so much. A big part of his admiration for Yuuri is that they are both queer (Yuuri is demisexual and Minami is gay) and they are both autistic. And seeing someone like him doing his favourite sport was so inspiring that Minami just became desperate to become a professional skater and meet Yuuri one day.

And he has met Yuuri several times, but he never expected to walk into his training rink and find Yuuri casually skating around on the ice. He doesn’t want to disturb Yuuri and Victor whilst they’re skating, so Minami stands at the edge of the ice and bounces up and down, so excited. He’s always been quite an impulsive person, but he manages to stay quiet until they finally finish skating, at which point he explodes with excitement.

“Yuuri!” he yells, jumping up and down and waving his arms, so happy. “Hey, Yuuri! It’s so amazing to see you!”

Yuuri and Victor smile as they skate towards him and slip their skate covers on.

“Hello, Minami,” Yuuri says.

“What are you doing here?” he says, his arms flapping. “I thought you lived in Russia.”

“We do,” Victor says, and Minami notices he is holding a fidget cube, a favourite stim toy of his (and, presumably, Victor’s too). “But we’re on holiday. And Yuuri had an idea to go to every ice rink in Japan.”

“So of course he went along with it,” Yuuri says, smiling as his glasses sparkle. “Because he does everything I say.”

Victor nudges Yuuri in the ribs, Yuuri grins and Minami giggles. He loves spending time with Yuuri and Victor; they’re such fun to be around.

\---

Later that day, Minami invites Yuuri and Victor to the house he shares with his parents. After a round of drinks and some pork cutlet bowls (everyone knows it is Yuuri’s favourite food, so it seemed obvious what to cook for the couple), Victor falls asleep. And with Yuuri to himself, Minami’s thoughts turn to what was tormenting him last night in bed, the idea that he is weak because he gets tired easier than most people. And so he decides to ask Yuuri about it.

“Yuuri,” he says, playing with his fidget cube. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can,” Yuuri says, smiling. “What’s on your mind?”

“Well, do you get more tired than other people you know?”

Yuuri looks at him, and then nods. “Yeah, I do. Why?”

Minami exhales slowly, glad that his idol knows what he is talking about. “Because I was worried I was a weakling or something. But if it happens to you too, then I’m not alone.”

Yuuri smiles, but he sort of looks like he wants to cry. “It’s quite normal for autistic people, you know. We spend so much of our energy on sensory things that it’s normal for us to get tired quicker than other people. You know, that’s why I use the Spoon Theory.”

Minami frowns. “The _what_ theory?”

And Yuuri chuckles and proceeds to explain the Spoon Theory, a disability metaphor in which the person uses spoons to represent the amount of energy they have on any particular day. Basically, you have no idea how many spoons you have every day, and you have to be careful so you don’t use too many and then pay for it the next day. It is a bit confusing and a frankly bizarre idea, but it does make sense. Sort of.

So glad he isn’t alone, Minami gives Yuuri a hug.


	8. Crowd: Yuuri (Victuuri)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and crowded places don’t mix.

Yuuri doesn’t do well in crowded spaces. Whether it is on an airplane or in the airport or at a party or the Grand Prix Banquet or just anywhere that is busy and loud and full of people, he doesn’t cope very well.

The first problem with crowded places is that the more people who are there, the bigger chance of having to talk to people. Yuuri struggles enough with talking to people he knows (the exceptions being Victor, his husband, and Phichit, his best friend; everyone else, even people like Yurio or Chris, it is still quite difficult to talk to), so talking to strangers is a nightmare. When he is at an event related to figure skating, Yuuri ends up having to talk to reporters (he hates being on camera; he just feels so awkward) or his fans (he’s delighted to have fans, but he never knows what to say to them). And at any sort of party, he knows he’ll end up having to engage in small talk, which is so awkward when you don’t know what to say.

But there is an even bigger problem than having to talk to people: sensory issues. Being in crowded spaces overloads his senses (mainly his sense of hearing, but it can also get to his vision if there are bright lights), and threatens to send Yuuri spiralling into a sensory overload. Sensory overloads are horrible and unpleasant and he tries to avoid them at all costs. But it is hard to avoid them in places where you can’t leave (like airplanes), or in situations where Yuuri needs to stay calm or it will affect his performance (such as when he gets overwhelmed behind the scenes, waiting to skate; or even when he is on the ice, when bad days make even the sound of his music too loud and the cheer of the crowds utter agony).

However, being in crowded places isn’t so bad these days. When Yuuri met Victor, his now-husband taught him to stop trying to hide his problems and openly cope by stimming in public. Victor has ADHD and is also prone to sensory overload, but is more likely to stim as a way to help himself focus. But whatever his reasons for stimming, Victor has never been ashamed to stim in public. When he was a teenager starting in the junior category and showing the world how amazing he was, Victor would always have a stim toy in his hand, literally only putting it down to skate, before grabbing it again and playing with the stim toy on live TV as he sat at the Kiss and Cry. Seeing Victor be so openly neurodivergent used to make young Yuuri feel better about himself, but he still never stimmed in public until he met Victor.

Ever since he and Victor made friends, Victor became his coach and they fell in love, Yuuri has been adopting Victor’s openness and self-acceptance. So it is quite common to now see Yuuri with a chewable stim toy in his mouth, or flapping his hands at the Kiss and Cry when he gets a high score, or manipulating a Tangle or a fidget cube in a moment of stress and confusion. And it is even more common to find Victor doing it too, the loving couple sat together and stimming, embracing their differences and loving themselves as well as each other.

But the most important thing Victor has taught Yuuri is that it’s okay to take some time away from it all.

“You don’t have to engage all the time,” Victor says as he and Yuuri stand outside the restaurant where everyone has been having a pre-competition meal and drink, chatting so loudly it made Yuuri’s head want to explode. He rubs Yuuri’s back, letting Yuuri slump against him as he wrings his hands together. “It’s okay to do this, to take a break and go outside, or sit in a corner and put your headphones on. Its okay, Yuuri. Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed. It’s okay.”

Yuuri smiles weakly, starting to feel much better now he is outside in the cool night air with his husband’s hand on his back. “Thank you, Vitya.”

And the next time he feels overwhelmed in a crowded place, he takes Victor’s advice and doesn’t force himself to stay and struggle. He just excuses himself and stims and calms down, and then goes back when he feels better. And he always has Victor by his side, there to help and offer support. And that is just one of the reasons why he loves Victor so much.


	9. Phone Calls: Seung Gil (Phichit/Seung Gil)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Seung Gil really hates using the telephone.

Seung Gil dislikes many things. Unfortunately, one of these things is phone calls, and they come up a lot in his life. And given that he deals with things he doesn’t like by avoiding them, it’s annoying

His parents are two of those irritating forty-something technophobes who come to him for help with the most basic things (he once had a conversation on this topic with Yuuri, where Yuuri laughed and said that his father is just like that), so he obviously can’t communicate with them via text or whatsapp, let alone social media (not that he likes social media, but it would be far easier than a phone call). Which means he has to phone home a lot.

Of course he misses his family, but Seung Gil just hates phone calls so much. The whole thing is so difficult, tying into his difficulties with communicating in general. But phone calls have some specific problems, including (but not limited to):

You never know when it is your turn to speak, because you can’t rely on watching the body language of the other person.

You can really struggle to hear the other person, as the quality of the line is always poor and the voice of the other person usually crackles so badly people like Seung Gil find it almost impossible to understand what they are saying.

In conclusion, he really struggles with phone conversations. But in many situations, often revolving around calling his parents but also others, he has no choice and he hates it.

Although, more recently, he has discovered another option: making Phichit do it for him.

Well, he doesn’t make Phichit do anything for him. To be honest, Phichit suggested he could help when he saw Seung Gil freaking out about having to have a long phone call with his mother.

“You know, I can do some of your phone calls for you,” Phichit said, putting his hand on Seung Gil’s knee and smiling. “I can just tell your parents that you’re really struggling with the phone calls and chat to them on your behalf.”

For a few seconds, he just stared at Phichit. But then he hugged his boyfriend and whispered, “Thank you.”

And, to be fair, nothing about their little agreement is a lie. Seung Gil really does struggle with phone calls, and most people he is friends with knows that this is true. And with Phichit as his boyfriend of three years, Seung Gil trusts him to talk to his parents.

They have been following this arrangement for a few weeks now, and it’s working pretty well. Phichit often talks to his parents whenever Seung Gil really can’t manage it, and his parents, whilst confused at first, are totally fine to chat to his boyfriend. Basically, everyone who is involved is happy.

And Seung Gil is grateful to have a boyfriend like Phichit. So one day, several weeks after they first started this arrangement , he goes up behind Phichit and wraps his arms around him.

“Thank you for supporting me,” he says, kissing Phichit’s head.

And Phichit laughs and turns around so they can hug properly, and he kisses him back as he says, “Not a problem, man, not a problem.”


	10. Labels: Otabek (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otabek and labels.

Some people say things like ‘labels are for cans, not people’, thinking that labels aren’t important. And they may be right in their case, but it annoys Otabek when people make generalisations like that. Because for him, labels are very important.

His labels mean a lot to him, mainly because he has spent a lot of his life being told that he is wrong the way he is.

His first label is that he is pansexual, a sexuality label that means he falls for people regardless of their gender. He owns a pride flag and wore it around his shoulders when he and Yuri went to pride last year.

And his other label is that he’s autistic. Otabek was diagnosed with autism when he was nine years old, and a lot of people treated him badly. So proudly declaring that he is autistic tells everyone they were wrong, and there is nothing wrong with being the way he is.

However, there are some labels Otabek doesn’t like. These are known as functioning labels.

This is an infuriating thing when people decide if autistic people are ‘high’ or ‘low’ functioning. They decide when they barely know you that you are either high functioning, meaning they consider you to have little to no problems with your life, or low functioning, meaning they consider you useless and they deny any of your strengths. Basically, if you get shoved into either of these categories, it involves people denying who you really are, just because they want to categorise autistic people.

He is considered high functioning by most people who use the annoying labels, despite the fact that Otabek has violent meltdowns and regularly goes nonverbal. This just proves how useless the system is.

Because as much as a person can love labels for themself, you shouldn’t force labels on other people. You should just let people live their lives the way they want. At least, that’s what he thinks.


	11. Collection: Yuri (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the belongings Yuri holds close to his heart.

If you saw Yuri’s bedroom, you might assume he is some kind of hoarder. But he isn’t one (because hoarders usually hoard crap because they feel compelled to do something), instead simply being the owner of several large collections.

Collection number one: Ice skates. Yuri has a collection of ten pairs of ice skates in his closet, some in different colours, others in different styles. He has a pair for speed skating instead of figure skating, he has pink skates, he has bulky skates, he has custom made skates, and he even has the first pair of skates he was given when he was four years old. They obviously don’t fit anymore, but he keeps them for the sentimental value.

Collection number two: Katsuki Yuuri photographs. This one is a bit embarrassing (okay, very embarrassing), because he doesn’t want to admit that he has always majorly admired Yuuri (because Yuuri was the first openly autistic figure skater he ever saw, and it inspired Yuri to know he could become a professional too). But he does admire Yuuri and has done so for a long time, and so he collected all the posters of Yuuri he could and cut photos out of magazines and printed them off the internet and plastered his walls with them. When he left his childhood home and moved closer to Yavok and the rink to train full time, Yuri took these with him, but all stuck or folded inside a large notebook instead. But he won’t ever show you it, so don’t even bother asking.

Collection number three: pride flags. Yuri is agender and asexual, and it took him ten and fourteen years respectively to work out these are his identities. And so he feels quite proud of them. Yuri owns a literal asexual pride flag (which Victor bought him when they went to a pride parade together last year; he reluctantly accepted it, watching his friend wear his bisexual flag around his shoulders like a cape), an assortment of pin badges he either found on the internet and just wanted or were given to him by his friends that show both the agender and asexual flags, a T-shirt that says **Agender and proud** that Yuuri gave him for his birthday, and a keyring that has the ace flag on one side and the agender flag on the other. and if you think this is a lot of pride merch, then you should see how much shit Victor and Yuuri own.

Collection number four: anime DVDs. He may have never been to Japan before the time he followed Victor there when he discovered Victor planned to train the Pork Cutlet Bowl, but he has always had an interest in Japanese things. He used to own a few manga books, but he has always struggled with reading, preferring to watch the animes instead. His favourites are _Free!_ and _My Hero Academia_ , but he loves anime in a variety of genres, and watches both Russian and English subs as well as the English dubs.

So, yeah, you might still think that he simply owns a lot of crap. But all of this stuff has meaning to Yuri, and that’s why he keeps it safe and is never going to throw any of it away.


	12. Sensory Overload: Minami (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minami gets help from his coach when he deals with sensory overload.

Everything feels wrong today. Minami woke up feeling weird, and he stills feels weird. He falls and trips far more than usual on the ice, his movements feel sluggish, and his head is stuffy, as though filled with cotton wool. And everything seems too bright and loud and he just wants to curl up in a ball and cry…

Ah, now he understands it. He’s obviously been in sensory overload all day. Sensory overload is one of the parts of his autism and ADHD that Minami isn’t fond of; it basically involves all of his senses being so heightened and his emotions being unstable, until everything overwhelms him and he goes into sensory overload. And if the sensory overload can’t be managed (by leaving the scene or using his stim toys or someone helping him calm down), Minami will inevitably spiral into a shutdown or a meltdown, neither of which he likes.

And all of this explains why nothing seems to be going right today. Sighing, Minami attempts a triple toe loop, but he messes up the timing and it turns into a single. At the side of the rink, his coach winces, probably having worked out what is happening. But Minami doesn’t want to give up, he doesn’t want to have to waste a day of training just because his senses are out of synch.

So even though his coach is saying, “Minami! Get off the ice and have a rest,” he skates faster and tries a triple axel—

And trips on the landing, over-rotating so much his head spins, and Minami goes tumbling to the ice. He lands with a thud, his hands and knees hitting the freezing cold, solid surface, the rest of his body landing too and making him feel bruised and cold. His sore skin throbs and he just lies there, the cold of the ice starting to make his exposed skin burn. When tears trickle down his face, Minami screws his eyes up, humiliated. He is seventeen years old and he can’t even ice skate some days. He’s pathetic.

And then his coach is beside him, voice soft and whispering, “Hey, do you need a break, Minami?”

And even though it makes him feel like he is admitting defeat, Minami nods and mumbles, “Please.”

\---

Half an hour later, Minami is slumped in a seat in the stands with his arms wrapped around himself. He has a chewable stim toy in his mouth and he chews it with his eyes closed, trying to block everything out. His coach let him borrow a pair of headphones which are currently clamped over his ears, not playing music but still helping him. He took his skates off and his feet are bare, the ground wonderfully cold against the soles. Basically, he still feels awful, but he’s much better than earlier.

After an hour or so of sitting there on his own, blocking out the light and sound and stimming, Minami feels the sensory overload dissipating. So glad he avoided going into a meltdown or shutdown, Minami slowly removes the headphones and opens his eyes, wobbly and a bit dizzy but much better than he could have been.

Once he feels like he can stand up, Minami tracks down his coach. And the first thing he does is say, “Thank you for helping me out. I feel much better now.”

And his coach smiles and says, “I’m glad you do. I’m always here to help, you know.”


	13. Autistic Character: Yuuri (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuuri complains about the lack of autistic characters in the media, and rambles about his own autistic headcanons.

The media is awful for autism representation, and Yuuri has only found one in his twenty four years that doesn’t irritate him.

His experience goes as follows:

  * _Rain Man_ : an American movie. The character is named as autistic but is a stereotype. Okay, but quite annoying.
  * _The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime_ : a book. An extremely annoying stereotype in which the character is treated awfully and isn’t once named as autistic. It infuriated him (and Yurio, when he made him read it).
  * _Atypical_ : a Netflix series. The character is again named as autistic but is an annoying stereotype. Yuuri watched the whole thing with gritted teeth.
  * _The Good Doctor_ : an American TV show. This is the only one Yuuri likes. Shaun may be played by an allistic actor, but he isn’t a stereotype and Yuuri sees bits of himself in the character. He actually enjoyed watching it.



But with a single piece of media that actually represents autism well, Yuuri still feels starved for representation. Which means he tends to look at fictional characters and imagine that they are autistic too.

Phichit, a complete fandom nerd, told him this is called as making a ‘headcanon’. Phichit likes to headcanon characters as asexual, like him, as well as gay, like his boyfriend, Seung Gil.

As he explained one day, “It’s fun. Of course, real representation would be better, but it’s always fun to see yourself in your favourite characters.”

And Yuuri has to agree. His currently favourite piece of media (his main special interest is and has always been figure skating, but Yuuri also gets other special interests, usually TV shows) is the manga and anime _Boku no Hero Academia_. And Yuuri happens to have a few autistic headcanons for the characters.

So one day, when he and Phichit are chatting over Facetime, Yuuri brings this up. Phichit also watches the anime (he’s never read the manga), so he knows what Yuuri means when he rambles on and on.

“So, Midoriya is so autistic,” Yuuri babbles, rocking back and forth in his seat. “I mean, he’s totally obsessed with heroes and did you see him rocking in his seat in episode one? But I also like autistic Iida, because he’s so obsessed with rules and routines and he’s always gesturing wildly with his hands. Present Mic being autistic is also cool, because he’s obsessed with music and he’s really bad at controlling the volume of his voice. Or Todoroki, because he’s so bad at interacting with his classmates…”

Yuuri rambles on and on about the anime and autistic characters and headcanons, and Phichit smiles, so glad his friend is enjoying something he loves.


	14. Nonverbal: Otabek (Otayuri)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Otabek goes nonverbal and Yuri is a great help.

Some days, Otabek can’t speak. Like today, when he awakes and realises that he has gone nonverbal. He isn’t sure why, but some days he awakes and he just isn’t able to talk that day.

Such as today, when he rolls over in bed and grabs his phone to text Yuri. His boyfriend is in Russia right now, and they miss each other.

> **Me** : Are you awake yuri?
> 
> **Yuri** : Obviously. whats up, beka?
> 
> **Me** : Ive gone nonverbal.
> 
> **Yuri** : Thats shit. does your coach know sign language?
> 
> **Me** : no but ive got an app we communicate with.
> 
> **Yuri** : good. ok. see you soon.
> 
> **Me** : love you.
> 
> **Yuri** : sappy bastard.
> 
> **Yuri** : love you too.

Like Yuri pointed out, Otabek has issues communicating when he is nonverbal. He doesn’t mind being nonverbal (he didn’t speak until he was six, so he’s sort of used to it), but when other people can’t sign, it can make it difficult to make other people understand him.

But Otabek has an app on his phone that he can type into and it will turn his words into spoken language (it was known as AAC: augmentative and alternative communication), meaning he and his coach can still hold a conversation even when he can’t talk.

He’s so grateful that social media and apps exist, because it would be so much harder to communicate with others when he can’t use his mouth to communicate.

\---

Other times, he starts the day verbal but loses his ability to speak. Whether it is from stress or going into sensory overload or simply being tired, Otabek regularly finds it harder and harder to talk as the day goes on, leading to him being totally nonverbal by the time the evening comes around. As mentioned before, it can be really hard to go nonverbal around people who don’t fully understand what is going on with him.

But it helps so much when he has Yuri by his side. When Yuri comes to visit him in Kazakhstan, Otabek is so happy to see his boyfriend, and they kiss at the airport. And Yuri stays at his place and comes to train at his training rink with him, and they spend all of the week Yuri has with him together as though they are stuck to each other by their hands.

And so Yuri and Otabek skate together, his coach training them both as they practise jumps and step sequences, gliding across the ice together. And Otabek is having such a lovely time.

At least until one day, when he just seems to do everything wrong. He trips when he does step sequences and crashes to the ice over and over again when he tries to land his jumps. Infuriated, Otabek wrings his hands together and realises his words are draining away. He sits down on the ice, sighing.

“Beka?” Yuri says, kneeling beside him. “Are you okay?”

Otabek shrugs, and then signs, _Nonverbal._

And Yuri nods, understanding. “Want a hug?”

_Please._

And so Yuri gives Otabek a tight hug (he finds the pressure soothing) and he is so glad that Yuri knows how to communicate with him through sign language.

\---

Considering how he is considered a stubborn bastard by most professional skaters, it may surprise you to know that Yuri voluntarily learned sign language and didn’t make a fuss about it.

“No, I want to learn,” Yuri said at the time, frowning. “I want to be able to help you when you go nonverbal. And, well, it’s never happened to me before, but if I ever go nonverbal one day, it’ll help me too.”

And Otabek smiled and said. “Thanks, Yura. It means a lot to me.”

And Otabek thinks about this moment whenever he goes nonverbal and he and Yuri communicate via sign language, loving how Yuri is grumpy with everyone but him and appreciating just how much Yuri loves him.


	15. Stim Toys: Seung Gil (Phichit/Seung Gil)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seung Gil’s five favourite stim toys.

Tangle

The week after he was diagnosed with autism, his parents bought him a stim toy. Specifically, they bought him a Tangle Jr.

The Tangle is made of several pieces of interlocking plastic, and twists and moves when you manipulate it with your fingers. And Seung Gil was fascinated by this toy, constantly keeping it in his pocket and even holding it between his fingers during ice skating practise.

When he broke, he was upset, but his parents bought him another one.

To this day, he has at least ten Tangles in all different colours in his closet, and at least one comes with him wherever he goes.

 

* * *

 

Chewable silicone stim toy

Seung Gil has always liked having things in his mouth. When he was young, he kept sucking on a pacifier until he was five years old, and his dentist told his parents off in case it damaged his teeth. So they took his pacifier; and Seung Gil simply started sucking his thumb instead.

At around the age of ten, his main habit switched to biting his fingernails. But this meant his fingers were always sore and looked unsightly, with his nails all jagged and torn hangnails infected. Which was when his mother decided to get him a chewable stim toy.

Made out of food grade silicone, the stim toy was black and in the shape of a dog, and it was so soothing to chew on. However, he chewed it so much that he broke it in a matter of weeks. But it turned out that his parents bought loads of them, so there were plenty of replacements.

He still has several of those original stim toys left, sitting in his closet and waiting for his current one to break. He is certain he could find other types that he likes, but this one is Seung Gil’s favourite chewable stim toy.

 

* * *

 

Marble Maze

When he first meets Katsuki Yuuri, Seung Gil is amazed to learn that Yuuri is autistic too. Even though he has never been very good at making friends or talking to people, he and Yuuri find a common ground talking about their autism, and the topic soon turns to stim toys. Seung Gil recommends chewable stim toys, and Yuuri recommends a marble maze.

“What’s that?” he asks, putting his chewable toy back in his mouth.

Yuuri takes it out of his pocket and shows him the marble maze. It appears to be two pieces of fabric sewn together with the stitches making a path that winds back and forth across the fabric. There is a lump inside it, presumably a marble.

“It’s very soothing,” Yuuri explains. “They’re quite cheap to buy, or you can even make them yourself if you’re good with a needle.”

Studying the stim toy, Seung Gil smiles. “I think I might buy one. Thanks for the recommendation.”

He does buy one, and is regularly seen manipulating it, trying to feed the marble through its maze.

 

* * *

 

Fidget Cube

For his birthday, Phichit buys him a ridiculous amount of presents. Seung Gil raises his eyebrows when he sees the number of gifts, but he smiles and gives Phichit a quick kiss.

“Thank you.”

He works through his presents, but there is one that shocks him. It is a stim toy: a fidget cube to be more specific. He’s seen these on the internet but kept forgetting to buy one. He looks at his boyfriend, smiling brightly. Phichit has never got him a stim toy before.

Kissing Phichit again, he opens the box and starts to play with the new toy. It is fascinating and fun and he can’t seem to stop smiling.

“Thank you,” he says again. “I love you. This means a lot to me.”

Phichit grins and kisses him back.

 

* * *

 

Fidget Spinner

Fidget spinners are such a meme at the moment that everyone has heard of them, and literally everyone is selling them. So it doesn’t surprise him when he sees Victor playing with one, holding it in front of his eyes and watching the toy spin. Victor is pretty open about having ADHD, but Seung Gil has never seen him with a stim toy before.

“Think it looks cool?” Victor says, noticing him staring.

“Well, it looks quite fun, yes,” Seung Gil mumbles.

Grinning, Victor reaches for his bag. “Do you want one?”

“What?”

“They were on sale, so I bought ten,” he says. “I’ve given one to Yuuri, one to Yurio and now you can have one too.”

And Victor hands him a bright red fidget spinner, which he immediately spins. He smiles.

“Thank you, Victor.”

“No problem.”


	16. Autistic Utopia: Yurio (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri loves to skate more than anything else.

Yuri loves to be on the ice. As music plays in the background (one of his favourite songs, not too loud), he wears his tight costume (liking the sensory aspect of tight clothes; he thinks it’s called pressure stimming) and his skates glide across the ice. He follows the routine he knows off by heart, skating around the rink as the air rustles through his hair and his movements flow perfectly and he just feels so at peace.

He likes to do a lot of other things (including watching his favourite TV shows or kissing Otabek), but nothing is better than skating. It encompasses everything he likes best and everything he is best at, and he feels like he can just skate forever, letting his body move as his mind clears and he just skates to the music, lost in the utter utopia that is figure skating.


	17. Inspiration: Minami (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Minami completely adores Katsuki Yuuri.

Minami’s favourite person in the whole world is Katsuki Yuuri. Yuuri has been his favourite figure skater for as long as he can remember, showing his amazing skating skills as a young Minami watched him on the TV and flapped his hands and vowed to be like him one day.

There were so many things about Yuuri he loved, from the way he skated to the way he always seemed so shy in public, to his choices of music when he was on the ice. And when he learned that Yuuri is also autistic, well, that just made him even more determined to become a professional skater.

Because Yuuri was like him too. He had never heard of an autistic professional figure skater, and Yuuri being who he was showed Minami that his dream had a chance of coming true. Yuuri was a huge inspiration to him, and he still is to this day.

\---

When he was twelve, he met Yuuri for the first time. His parents took him on a holiday in which they travelled Japan, and Minami begged for Hatsetsu, Yuuri’s home town, to be one of their stops. And his parents exchanged a glance and raised their eyebrows, but they agreed.

So when they arrived in Hatestu, Minami insisted they go to the Katsuki family’s hot spring business (Yu-topia), just in the off chance that he bumped into Yuuri there. At this point, he started to feel like a bit of a stalker, but he didn’t hope he came across that way. He just wanted to meet his idol so badly.

And to his amazement, he did see him. The moment they walked into the building, he saw Yuuri to his sister (he followed Yuuri on Instagram and recognised Mari from a selfie they took; again, he really didn’t want to sound like a stalker), and his heart raced as the biggest smile spread across his face. And before his mother could tell him to stay calm, Minami squealed and rushed over to Yuuri, flapping his hands.

“Hello, Yuuri!” he said far too loudly, beaming.

Yuuri and Mari turned to look at him, and they frowned. And Minami’s stomach clenched as he hoped he hadn’t annoyed them.

He bowed awkwardly. “I’m Minami Kenjirou, and I’m a huge fan of yours. I’m a figure skater too, and I’m going to go pro one day just like you.”

“Aww, how sweet,” Mari said, nudging Yuuri. “Look, you’ve got your first fan.”

Minami glanced at Yuuri, and saw him blushing.

At that point, his parent rushed over and his father said, “Sorry about Kenjirou. He’s just a huge fan of yours. And he’s autistic, you see. Not the best social skills in the world.”

Minami blushed, wishing his parents wouldn’t tell people about his autism without his permission.

“You’re autistic too?” Yuuri said.

“Um, yeah,” Minami mumbled, hands flapping again.

“Sorry, it’s just, Mari’s right, I’ve never met a fan before. You… you really admire me?”

Minami nodded, even though his face still burned. “Yeah. I want to be like you one day.”

Yuuri smiled awkwardly, but it appeared to be a genuine smile. “Well, I’m sure you will be.”

And Minami felt like his heart was about to explode with happiness. “Thank you! Uh… can I get your autograph, please?”

“Yeah, of course,” Yuuri said.

Minami handed him his autograph book and a pen, and watched Yuuri write a short message. Yuuri said goodbye and passed him his book as he walked away. And Minami was left standing there, holding the autograph book in his trembling hands. He looked down at the open book and read the message.

**Kenjirou,**

**I’m so grateful to have a dedicated fan like you. I hope I can show you that its possible to be an autistic skater, even if you don’t see many of us about.**

**I hope you achieve your dreams.**

**From, Katsuki Yuuri.**

And happy tears filled his eyes as he hugged his mother, knowing this was easily the best day of his life.

\---

At the age of seventeen, Minami skates in the same competition as Yuuri. But unlike last year, he loses to Yuuri. But it only seems fair; after all, last year Yuuri was not at his best, so it wasn’t really a fair victory. And he doesn’t really mind, because he knows he will skate at the same level as Yuuri again, and he vows to one day get as good as Yuuri – and maybe even beat him.


	18. Puzzle Piece: Yuuri (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuuri detests the puzzle piece symbol, but he isn’t alone.

Yuuri hates jigsaw puzzles. He never knew why he disliked them as a young child (maybe they just weirded him out), but he has a valid reason for hating them now.

Because some people like to associate autism (and other developmental disabilities, but autism seems to be the most common target) with jigsaw puzzles, saying how autistic people are like a puzzle with a piece missing. And that hurts even though no one has ever said it to him personally. Because he knows that other people get this told to them all the time, and hearing about it is still upsetting.

He doesn’t have a piece missing. He is a whole, complete human being. He just has a brain that works in a different way. That doesn’t make him defective.

\---

When he is young, he hears about a group in America that use a puzzle piece as their symbol. And this group is horrible, advocating for a cure for autism whilst having no autistic people on their board and giving a tiny amount of their money towards support for autistic people.

And it makes him cry. But also grateful that he isn’t American. Because it must be horrible to live in the country where this group is based, constantly having to hear them saying horrible things about autistic people.

His mother doesn’t understand why he gets upset about this.

And so ten year old Yuuri cries as his hands flap and he says, “They’re saying we’re all wrong, that I’m wrong. They’re treating us horribly just because our brains are different. It’s horrible.”

And then his mother hugs him tightly. She understands now.

\---

When he moves to Detroit to train, Yuuri soon grows to detest the month of April. April is the month when this group encourages the country to ‘light it up blue’, wearing blue and plastering puzzle pieces everywhere. And it makes him feel sick.

He starts crying and has a meltdown, wishing he didn’t have to leave his room for the whole month. But at least his training rink doesn’t have this shit everywhere, and he has a supportive coach and Phichit, his best friend.

One day, Phichit sits beside Yuuri as he rants about the puzzle pieces he saw everywhere, rocking in his seat and fighting back tears.

“It’s horrible, Yuuri,” Phichit says. “I’m not even autistic and I find it horrible, even before I met you and had never talked to an autistic person in my life. It just seemed so wrong to want to change people and treat them as a burden when they’re not doing anything wrong. And when I met you, I understood exactly why it hurts you. I wish I could stop them, Yuuri.”

Yuuri looks at his friend and the tears dribble down his face. He pulls Phichit into a tight hug. “Thank you. Thank you.”

Phichit rubs his back and Yuuri sobs into his shoulder, so glad to have made a close friend whilst so far from home. When his tears have dried up, Yuuri pulls away and smiles.

“Thank you. But, you know, there is something we can do. We can go Red Instead.”

And Phichit grins and immediately checks to see how many red clothes he owns.


	19. Routine: Otabek (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otabek relies heavily on routines.

Otabek likes routines. To be more specific, he doesn’t like change.

It just upsets him and makes him stressed to have to do things spontaneously, when he didn’t plan for it first. Because Otabek relies heavily on social scripts, and they always need quite a lot of preparation. And when he doesn’t get time to prepare, he ends up thrown into situations in which he doesn’t know what to do, making him panic.

So he feels safer when he can follow routines, going into situations when he has a plan and knows how to cope, because change makes him stressed and he doesn’t want to fall into a meltdown.

So, basically, it isn’t that he likes routines, as such (to be honest, he finds it annoying to always be doing things in the same way). It’s just more a case of they are important for his mental wellbeing, and anything is better than the meltdown that sudden change is likely to cause.

It’s just easier this way.


	20. Animal or Pet: Seung Gil (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Seung Gil loves dogs, and gets one of his own.

Seung Gil has always loved dogs. When he was young, he would see people out walking their dogs and wish he could have one of his own. And seeing a dog was about the only way you could get him to talk to people as a kid.

Young Seung Gil would wander over to an adult with his mother close behind him, staring at their dog and chewing his chewable stim toy. And his question was awkward and hesitant, but he would talk around his toy as he said, “Um… can, can I pet your dog?”

And most of the time, the adult would smile and say, “Of course you can, dear.”

And he would smile and crouch down and hold out his hand, letting the dog nuzzle its head into his hand. He smiled, adoring the way the dog wagged its tail and nuzzled his hand, its fur soft his fingers.

But when he walked away and asked his mother if he could have a dog of his own, she sighed and said, “Not again. I’m sorry, dear, but we’re not getting a dog.”

And he sighed too, staring at the dog until it went out of sight.

\---

Dogs were always one of his special interests. He had a huge, hardbacked book about all different breeds of dogs on the shelf in his bedroom, and spent a lot of his free time (that is, time that wasn’t spent at school or down at the ice rink) reading it, learning about different types of dogs and the history of humans domesticating dogs and how to care for them.

And he dreamed about cuddling up with a dog, both of them fast asleep as he stroked his pet’s beautifully soft fur.

\---

When he was twelve years old, Seung Gil received two utterly amazing birthday presents.

The first was a custom-fitted pair of ice skates, which were certain to make skating even more enjoyable now he had skates that fit his feet perfectly and had sharpest blades he had ever seen. They even had his initials (L.S.G) stitched into the leather at the ankle. They were beautiful.

And his second gift… it was perfect.

Still reeling from his amazing skates, Seung Gil looked up when his father said, “Just wait for your second present.”

And then he heard the barking. His mother opened the door, and a puppy came bounding into the room.

“A puppy!” he shrieked, raising his voice for the first time in ages.

And the puppy ran over and Seung Gil ran to the puppy and he dropped to his knees and held out his hand. The puppy was beautiful, with soft grey-black fur and a waggy tail and a long floppy tongue that licked his outstretched hand.

Slowly, he looked up at his parents. “Is it… for me?”

They nodded, smiling. “Yes. You’ve wanted a dog for as long as we can remember, and we agree you’re mature enough to look after one. So we got you a puppy.”

And Seung Gil grinned and petted his new puppy, so happy.


	21. Honesty: Yurio (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuri is an excellent liar, but also lacks tact and fails at social rules. So he always ends up offending people even when he doesn’t mean to.

Trouble with telling lies is supposed to be a common problem in autistic people, which Yuri supposes stems from poor social skills. There are several aspects of the concept of honesty that Yuri himself with. He is both a good liar, but also awful at showing tact and using a filter, not realising people really want him to lie but are acting like they want to know the truth.

In the case of lying, Yuri is an excellent liar. In fact, his ability to lie was part of the reason the doctor who diagnosed him was sceptical at first (because it totally makes sense to diagnose your patient by going through a list of autism stereotypes and then denying they might be autistic because a single one of their traits doesn’t match your textbook – by the way, he’s being sarcastic), before getting over himself, realising Yuri was clearly autistic and diagnosing him anyway. Because he is a good liar, and just because a lot of autistic people find it difficult, doesn’t mean he isn’t autistic. He just presents in a different way.

Anyway, he’s a brilliant liar. But there is an exception to his skill. And that is an incredibly fucking irritating social rule (one of those unspoken rules that every single neurotypical person seems to know, but are a mystery to him), and he’s pretty sure you know what he means when he mentions the thing people do when they ask you a question, but they’re really looking for reassurance or a compliment instead of an honest answer (such as the awful situation when someone asks you if an outfit suits them; you’re supposed to lie even if it looks horrible to support them, but Yuri always fucking trips up and ends up offending them by telling the truth). And this is the one time his ability to lie falters, making him feel like a total fucking dork.

In fact, this problem happened last week. He was in America for a skating tournament, and bumped into Jean-Jacques and his fiancée, Isabella. Like always, they had their arms around each other, and Yuri wrinked his nose when they kissed (trust him when he says he loves Otabek, but he’s never been one for public displays of affection).

And Isabella wandered over to him and said, “Hi, Yurio.”

“Don’t call me that, hag,” Yuri spat, hands stuffed into his pockets.

“Don’t talk to my fiancée like that!” JJ said, putting his arm back around Isabella and frowning at Yuri like he was a petulant child.

“Anyway,” Isabella said with a smile (Yuri rolled his eyes and JJ glared at him). “It’s nice to see you again.”

“You too,” Yuri said, parroting a social script of his with little enthusiasm.

As he looked up at Isabella (why did she have to have high heels on?), Yuri noticed the earrings she was wearing; they appeared to have sapphires (or other blue jewels) in them, and dangled from her earlobes, catching the light when she turned her head. Isabella saw him looking and smiled.

“You noticed, I see,” she said, grinning broadly and touching her earrings. “JJ bought them for me last month. Aren’t they just the loveliest things ever?”

And Yuri stared at the earrings and her face, not sure what to say. In the end, he tried to sound vaguely polite as he mumbled, “Eh, they’re okay. Dunno if they’re you’re colour, and I hate dangly earrings because they make your earlobes go droopy.”

Yuri looked back up. JJ was glaring at him, and Isabella looked offended. Oh shit.

“Yuri, you shit,” JJ said, putting his arm around her a-fucking-gain. “Don’t say things like that.”

And Isabella looked like she was going to cry.

And Yuri stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked off, muttering something like, “See you later, shitheads,” over his shoulder.

Yuri sighed, knowing he had fucked up again. Why was he only shit at lying at times like this?


	22. Favourite Place: Minami (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Minami loves ice rinks.

Ever since he first set foot inside one, Minami has adored ice rinks. He remembers his first time at an ice rink, when he was four years old and his parents took him to skate. The place seemed so big and cold and there were changing rooms kind of like at the swimming pool but not smelling of chlorine, and he stood at the side of the rink and watched people skate, fascinated by how their skates glided across the ice, their movements fluid. And his eyes lit up and his hands wrung together, and Minami was fascinated by skating from that moment on.

Even now, years and years later, he still adores ice rinks. Whether it is his training rink in Japan or the huge rinks he skates at during competitions, he just loves to be inside an ice rink. And, more specifically, he loves to be on the ice. Wearing his favourite skates (a custom made pair his parents gave him for his birthday), he glides across the ice in a comfortable costume whilst the song he has been training to plays in the background, and he is totally at peace.

He never loses his love for ice rinks. They really are his favourite places in the world.


	23. Happiness: Yuuri (Victuuri)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is happiness to you?

Happiness to Yuuri is being four years old and going ice skating for the first time, and realising he’s actually really good at it and his parents being so happy and the staff at the rink saying he has potential and giggling as he stumbles around the ice on skates and falls into a special interest.

Happiness to Yuuri is being seven years old and collecting posters about ice skating and going to figure skating lessons after school and getting a pair of ice skates from his parents for his birthday and commandeering the TV and watching figure skating from all over the world and being so fascinated and hoping he can be like these people one day.

Happiness to Yuuri is being ten years old and first seeing a Russian skater called Victor skating in a junior tournament on TV and seeing Victor’s long hair and his graceful movements and blushing and realising he might have a bit of a crush on this boy.

Happiness to Yuuri is being twelve years old and learning all about Victor and collecting photos of him and watching him break records in the senior category and seeing his amazing costumes and realising that he has totally fallen in love with Victor.

Happiness to Yuuri is being thirteen years old and learning that Victor has a poodle and going to his parents and talking about the dog he has always wanted but now asking if he can have a poodle too so he can be like Victor and his parents getting him a dog that Yuuri calls Victor.

Happiness to Yuuri is being fourteen years old and getting diagnosed with autism, because he always knew there was something different about him and now he has a reason and a name and he can get accommodations at school and understanding the reasons behind every little quirk of his.

Happiness to Yuuri is being sixteen years old and learning that demisexuality is a thing and suddenly understand why he has always liked people but never in that way and feeling the amazing satisfaction that he is valid and there is nothing wrong with the way he is and getting a demisexual pride flag badge which he wears sometimes and always feels proud.

Happiness to Yuuri is being twenty one years old and meeting Phichit when he moves to Detroit to train and developing a strong bond with his fellow skater and confiding him in and helping each other become stronger people and better skaters and forming a lifelong friendship at the side of an ice rink.

Happiness to Yuuri is being twenty three years old and finding Victor in the hot spring and discovering that he man he has always admired and loved saw that video and saw something in his skating and wants to be his coach and Victor staying with him in Japan and Yuuri realising that his feelings for Victor are stronger than ever and Victor has feelings for him too.

Happiness to Yuuri is being twenty four years old and being engaged to Victor, the love of his life, and skating in the Grand Prix Final and winning silver and Victor being so proud and openly kissing his fiancé and Victor saying he is going to come out of retirement and they’re going to stay together forever.


	24. Support: Seung Gil (Phichit/Seung Gil)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the types of support that Seung Gil has had throughout his life.

Seung Gil is lucky enough to have been supported throughout his life, and he sometimes wonders if he could have become a professional figure skater without the help of so many people. And there is rarely a day that goes by when he doesn’t want to thank them all for everything they have done for him.

First of all are his parents: the two people who looked after him when he was very young and nonverbal and everyone thought he was defective and even used slurs to describe his behaviour, but his parents never treated him like that. They knew he didn’t talk and had sensory issues and seemed very antisocial, but they accepted him for the way he was and cared for him like any good parent should. They saw him watching figure skating on the TV and took him to their local ice rink, and encouraged him to take his first tentative steps into the ice, applauding when he made a loop of the rink without falling. And they knew about his love of dogs and got him his wonderful pet and bought him expensive ice skates and always believed in him.

Then there is the staff at his childhood ice rink, who saw him smiling as he stumbled around in too-big skates but managed to skate better than most of the children on the ice. And one of the women skated over to him and asked him, “Do you want to join the skating club?” And his mother spoke for him (because he was still nonverbal), expressing Seung Gil’s delight on his behalf and saying how much he would love that. And so he went to their skating club once a week and the staff started to realise just how he had a real gift for the ice. So when a professional figure skater came to the rink, the staff were sure to tell them about Seung Gil. And it was because of them that he began his career as a figure skater.

And of course there is his coach, who has never given up on him even when he has meltdowns at the rink and goes nonverbal and struggles to cope with the stress when tournaments are coming up. And how his coach helps him play to his strengths and is constantly helping him become a better skater, and they are both so determined that he will win the Grand Prix Final one day.

But the biggest influence in his lie in the last few years has to be Phichit. When he first met the Thai skater, he found him boisterous and annoying and found it strange that he and Katsuki Yuuri were even friends (because they were so different). But as they spent more time together, Seung Gil realised that he and Phichit were becoming friends. Having been friends with Yuuri for years, Phichit knows all about autism, so he knew how to support Seung Gil with sensory issues and meltdowns and social issues. And as he kept hanging around with his new friend, Seung Gil came to the startling realisation that he was falling in love with Phichit. But it wasn’t a bad thing, because Phichit loves him back and they’ve been dating for two years and he loves Phichit and he loves him back and Phichit supports him with everything he does and he loves him.

He appreciates them all so very much. And Seung Gil will never stop being grateful.


	25. Freebie: Otabek (Otayuri)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Otabek and Yuri spend some time together.

Long distance relationships are hard work, but at least Otabek gets to fully appreciate his datemate when he and Yuri finally get to spend time together. Such as today, when Yuri is due to arrive at his local airport in Kazakhstan. They haven’t seen each other for two whole months (other than talking on Skype, but he doesn’t think that really counts), and even the normally calm, serious Otabek can barely suppress his excitement. He just loves Yuri so much and he hates it when they have to spend time apart.

So that is why Otabek jiggles his legs up and down as he sits in the airport, eyes on the clock and waiting for the time Yuri’s plane is due to arrive. His stomach churns and he holds a bag in his tense hands, containing a couple of gifts he has bought Yuri. It seems to take forever, but, finally, it is the time of the flight’s arrival and people start streaming into the airport.

Otabek jumps to his feet, scanning his surroundings and looking for the familiar blond hair and frown that always make it easy to locate Yuri in a crowd. To his displeasure, a group of Yuri’s ~~stalkers~~ fans are here, having seen him and Yuri talking on Instagram last week and obviously planned to surprise their ‘dear Yura’ with their presence. When the girls start screaming in Russian and English, Otabek knows they have spotted Yuri. So he takes advantage of his excellent balance and climbs onto his chair – and that is when he sees him.

Wearing a puffy black coat, a red backpack and a scowl, Yuri walks through the airport and glares at anyone who bumps into him. He spots his fans and grimaces, and Otabek waves his arms in the air.

“Yuri!” he calls.

And Yuri looks up and sees him, and he actually smiles. It is always wonderful to see Yuri smile.

And so Yuri races through the crowds, giving his fans a wide berth, and approaches Otabek. He jumps down from his seat and holds his arms out, and Yuri barrels into him and hugs him tightly.

“Hi, Beka,” he says, voice muffled as he presses his face against Otabek’s shoulder. “Can we get out of here, though?”

Looking over Yuri’s shoulder, Otabek watches the fans locate them and start to approach. “Okay. Let’s go.”

And they hold hands and leg it.

\---

After a quick ride on Otabek’s motorbike, they stop at a quiet café and go inside to have a coffee and a chat. They sit opposite each other at a table, and Yuri doesn’t pull away when Otabek reaches and holds his hand.

“I missed you, Yura,” he says.

Yuri blushes. “Yeah, me too.”

“I’ve got you some presents.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Yuri says, his eyes widening.

He shrugs. “But I did. Here, have a look.”

Otabek holds out the bag to Yuri and Yuri takes a look inside, frowning slightly. He pulls out the gifts: a teddy bear (it seems sappy, but Yuri likes them) and a keyring in the shape of an ice skate. Looking up at Otabek, Yuri smiles.

“Thank you, Beka,” he says, and he leans forwards to give him a quick kiss.

And Otabek blushes, so glad to be spending time with Yuri again.


	26. Echolalia: Yurio (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri and echolalia.

“Otabek. Otabek. Otabek.”

Yuri loves the sound of his boyfriend’s name. When he pronounces Otabek’s name, the pronunciation of the syllables of his name is so perfect that Yuri can’t help but say it over and over again. the word just sounds so wonderful when he says it, and Yuri is just so soothed to hear himself saying Beka’s name.

One day, he is wandering through St Petersburg and thinking about Beka, missing his boyfriend and hoping they can meet up again soon. And as he walks, Yuri stuffs his hands in his pockets and mumbles, “Otabek. Otabek. Otabek.”

He says it over and over again, until he realises that people are staring at him like he’s some kind of weirdo. But Yuri simply glares at them all and carries on.

“Otabek. Otabek. Otabek,” he says, and his voice gets louder to spite the bastards. Because he doesn’t care what people think of him.

\---

“Pork Cutlet Bowl. Pork Cutlet Bowl.”

When he was young, Yuri learned about echolalia, the name given to the habit of repeating other people’s words. Sometimes, he repeats someone’s words straight back to them

(“Morning, Yuri,” Victor says, skating over to the edge of the rink and waving at him.

Barely verbal, Yuri glares at him and finds himself mumbling, “Morning, Yuri.”

He goes red, but no one laughs at him. He’s grateful.)

“Pork Cutlet Bowl. Pork Cutlet Bowl.”

But most of the time, when he is struggling verbally or just not paying full attention, Yuri finds himself mumbling a certain phrase over and over again. The phrase being: Pork cutlet bowl.

“Pork Cutlet Bowl. Pork Cutlet Bowl.”

This dish is both Katsuki Yuuri’s favourite food, and Yuri’s nickname for him. he calls Yuuri this name often, sometimes to wind him up but mostly because it feels weird to say his own name when talking to someone. So when Yuuri is around, you’ll often hear Yuri saying these three words.

“Pork Cutlet Bowl. Pork Cutlet Bowl.”

But he also says it when Yuuri isn’t nearby. Because… well, he has always deeply admired Yuuri (partly because he was the first autistic skater he ever saw, but also because he used to have a bit of a crush on him), even when he doesn’t openly express this towards Yuuri.

“Pork Cutlet Bowl. Pork Cutlet Bowl.”

So whenever he is trying to focus on skating or his studies or anything like that, Yuri can be found muttering his nickname for Katsuki Yuuri and finding it easier to focus.

\---

Yuri feels dreadful today, his brain foggy and his movements laboured. He had a meltdown last night and he’s finding it really difficult to speak and process what people are saying. So when he wanders into his training rink and Yakov speaks to him, Yuri freezes up.

“Yuri?” Yakov says. “Are you okay?”

“Leave me alone, you hag,” Yuri mutters, and then flinches. He said that last week when Mila was pissing him off, and he just said that to his coach. He looks up at his coach, anticipating to get yelled at (and he doesn’t normally give a shit if he gets yelled at, but not today; he feels so vulnerable today).

But Yakov simply shakes his head and says, “Are you quoting your argument with Mila?”

He nods.

“So you’re struggling to speak today?”

Yuri nods again.

“Well then, Yura, I suggest you take it easy and have frequent breaks. Okay?”

Yuri smiles weakly. “Okay.”


	27. Colour: Minami (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minami and colour.

Minami loves every colour of the rainbow. The rainbow is important to him: it is the pattern on the gay pride flag, a flag he proudly wears when he goes to pride parades and remembers fondly when he remembers first coming out; and rainbows symbolise good things happening after something bad, like when it has been raining and then the sun starts to shine and you can see a rainbow in the sky.

But there is one colour he is less keen on: the colour blue. And this is because of the crap some people do in April in America where they want everyone to dress in blue to get ‘awareness’ for autism. But he hates it (because being autistic isn’t a bad thing like these people always say and autism has enough flipping awareness), meaning he kind of hates the colour blue too.

So now he has a particular fondness for the colour red. At first, he just loved it because it had always been a favourite colour of his, explaining why Minami went out on a whim one day when he was twelve and dyed parts of his blond hair bright red. But now he loves red even more just out of pure spite, and happily wears lots of red during April to go Red Instead.


	28. Empathy: Yuuri (Victuuri)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuuri has issues with hyperempathy.

Yuuri has always struggled with empathy. Apparently, lots of autistic people find it challenging to understand, with some people dealing with low empathy and others struggling with hyperempathy. And it’s even more confusing to learn that empathy is not the same as compassion (because empathy is about your ability to feel another person’s emotions, whilst compassion is about reacting and understanding and offering support), and your levels of empathy ultimately mean nothing compared to your ability to be compassionate towards people.

Because Yuuri has hyperempathy, but that doesn’t mean he has normal compassion skills, and dealing with overloading empathy can make the whole thing far more difficult than it needs to be. So when someone is upset, sobbing over whatever has caused them emotional distress, Yuuri will inevitably burst out sobbing, but he still doesn’t know how to comfort them. In fact, he’s twenty four and he has only just got to grips with the sorts of things you need to do to help when someone is upset, and sobbing even worse than them doesn’t count.

This sort of annoying crap happens one day when Victor receives distressing family news (apparently, one of his relatives who lives in Moscow has been taken seriously ill), and Victor starts to cry as he packs his overnight bag and prepares to go on a flight. He cries almost silently, tears leaking down his face, but his shuddering breaths give away what he is trying to hide.

And Yuuri stands in the doorway, knowing how scary it is to have a sick family member, and his eyes start to sting with tears. Seeing his husband trembling with sobs is too much for Yuuri, and he breaks down crying.

“Yuuri, what’s the matter?” Victor says, even though he’s crying too and he’s the reason Yuuri is even crying in the first place.

“Th-This just happens when someone’s crying,” Yuuri stutters, scrubbing at his eyes. “Sorry. I sh-should be comforting you.”

It took him ages to learn, but Yuuri finally knows the sort of things you should do when someone is crying. So he rushes towards Victor and wraps his arms around him, pulling him close and rubbing his back.

“D-Don’t cry, Vitya,” he says, his words stilted due to his use of a rather new social script. He strokes Victor’s neck, holding his husband as close as he can. “I’m sure they’ll be okay. Please don’t cry.”

“I could say the same to you,” Victor says softly, patting Yuuri’s back. “I’m okay. You don’t need to cry.”

In the end, Victor ends up comforting him as much as Yuuri comforts him. And it’s a bit annoying, but at least Victor is no longer crying.


	29. Overthinking: Seung Gil (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Seung Gil wishes he doesn’t have to think so much.

Seung Gil has a bit of a problem with overthinking things, his brain tying his thoughts in knots as he thinks too hard and just gets panicked and confused. Such as when he is on the ice, his mind calculating the points he earns and loses whilst skating; sometimes this is useful, as it helps him work out where he might need to add more point in the second half, but other times he just gets so worked up by thinking about numbers and scores and patterns that it becomes so difficult to concentrate on his routine that—

That he falls and ruins it. And then when he’s getting dressed after sitting at the Kiss and Cry and learning he blew it with that fall, Seung Gil is just thinking and thinking about how he could have done better and…

He just wishes that, sometimes, he could think more slowly, that he could have moments when his brain isn’t constantly churning with thoughts. It must be nice.


	30. Neurotypical: Otabek (Otayuri)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Otabek and Yuri share a bond that may be difficult for neurotypical people to understand.

Otabek is autistic. So is Yuri.

In fact, he thinks this plays a bit role in why they get along so well. They are both socially awkward and both have sensory issues, and Otabek is convinced that their autism plays a big role in his and Yuri’s deep connection.

Of course, Otabek loves his neurotypical friends, but he can’t help but think being autistic helps two people bond in a way neurotypical people don’t understand. Because being autistic means your brain is wired up differently, and if you are close with another autistic person, then you finally get to understand what it is like to be around people like you.

And he wants to be with Yuri for the rest of his life.


End file.
